When are we attending your own?

    i didn't know I had so much audience o. Is that not what it is called? People watching you. Really, I didn't know it was this bad! ahah! See me, see case o. Okay, let me explain.
     Over the weekend, i attended my friend's baby naming ceremony. Me na, with my 'sumarty', was helping to share the food, (throways face) and even carried the babies of other mums when they needed the help. Then, it started.
     "Your baby is soo cute" she's smiling.
     "oh, Its not my baby, i'm helping the mother. She's busy"
     "Oh", she said.
    You will be surprised how much emotions can be packed into one syllable - Disappiontment, scepticism, sadness, questioning your ability to reproduce, and most shocking of all, anger. Yes o! They are angry that you don't have a baby of your own. Is it their born? Ha! I shrugged it off.
     When i wasn't carrying a baby, i got a, "You are looking fresh o", with eyes firmly attached to my midriff as she spoke.
     "Thank you, ma. How is your family?"
     "We thank God o. God is helping us. Its just Angela that we are waiting to bring home a man. And of course, you". She sighs.
      "Okay ma." I scurried off. Enhhenh na! What did you expect me to say before?
      When i was sharing food, (oooooohhh! I don't like the way you are looking at me! Am not like that! I shared the food well. I didn't eat more than one serving of each dish prepared! Ahah!) - i served one particularly nosy woman, and she says to me,
     "Kayo, you came?"
      "Yes, ma".
      "We thank God for this couple o. They got married last year and now, here we are, for their baby's naming. Is God not great?"
      "Yes, ma". I murmur, non-committally.
      "Of course, i had expected to attend your own before hers (talking about the mother) but that's water under the bridge now. So, When are we attending your own?"
     "It will happen in God's time. I am hoping on God".
     She glares at me, "a thousand years is like a day before God o. If God decides to bring you a husband in the afternoon, that would be three hundred years, and you would have passed. You have to make a move o. God's time, indeed". She turns away in that African way that says 'am done trying to talk sense into your brain'.
     I was stupefied! I just walked away with my tail between my legs. I thought 'God's time is the best' deters everyone but apparently not this woman. I no share food again o. I just 'jejely' sat down and sneaked off as soon as i could. The party was ruined for me.

So, how many times have you been asked at a wedding or naming, "When are we attending your own?" do tell.