Musings of an average girl

 I have always been taught to embrace the feelings that I get the privilege to feel. And while I haven't always practiced it wholly, in recent times, I have come to understand that it is indeed a privilege to feel. After going through a period of numbness, where I could never feel or get excited, a period where I was just going through the motions of going to work, coming home and repeating the same everyday, I am grateful to be able to smile with my heart and hurt in my gut and crush on someone. It's why I make bold to write about my crush because I would rather hurt than feel nothing at all.  This writer is female and while this is not the article I would use to go off on a tirade to expose the micro and almost intangible ways that females are oppressed into silence and pretence by society, I will say this: Women are not encouraged to embrace feelings. Even natural, biological body motions are shamed if the body belongs to a woman. Even for things that are crucial for the co...

 So my crush went out drinking without me. And I honestly felt like a scorned woman. I should preface this by stating that I am the definition of a late bloomer. I started menstruating later than most, I was still flat chested in JSS3 and I didn't start dating until I was in the university. I wonder if that's why I am having a schoolgirl crush in my thirties when I never had one before.  I could never relate to pining after someone who does not like you. When my friends told me about the guy they saw in church and started crushing on, I could never understand it. I always say that I like people who like me. But my current crush doesn't like me. I like him. And I like him a lot. It's true that he is my type in every way except his skin colour: I typically like men who are darker than him.  But the crush is so massive, it's a struggle to stay afloat under the weight of it all. And so today he went out for drinks after work without me. I called to check in on where he ...