Musings of an average girl

 As a woman in my mid-thirties, who is a feminist, a first born daughter of a first born daughter, who is opinionated and loudly so, (I am trying to say that I am all the things that Nigerian men claim they hate and yet the same Nigerian men won’t stop telling me to go and get married), who is someone who enjoys her own company until she suddenly decides that she is lonely….. there are times when I think that “hey, I should have a child!”. But then, the thought crosses my mind about how I would like for my child to grow up in a two parent household and learn strong family values. That thought is immediately followed by the fact that for the above to happen, I have to marry a man. And I am confronted with the concern of me questioning if I can love a man through his idiocy. Because, men take a lot of liberties. A man expects a woman to stay through his cheating, his dirtiness, his lack of compassion, his continuous sabotage of her advancement and of course his rudeness, his physical...

 Yours truly grew up in delta state. Growing up in a small town where everyone knew everyone, there were times when our parents told us that such and such festival was coming up, we shouldn’t step outside. There’s the Eni Festival. The ophia festival. The Oko festival. There’s the midaka festival. There’s the emete festival. I know their names but don’t know what they are about except the “ore emete” which is a festival that celebrates virgins, I never been out to the festival , I just know what it’s about. On festival days, we can be in our compound with our gate locked playing outside, no harm came to us. So, imagine my surprise when I heard of the Ozoro rape festival. I had always been taught that festival grounds were dangerous to young girls, I didn’t know that the danger could come into your house. Imagine men breaking to shops, hostels, houses in the name of festival. And this incident started throwing light on some things that the women around did on festival days that I di...

Yours truly is officially in her mid-thirties. It is an interesting time to say the least. While in my 20s, I read that a woman becomes more sensual and sexual in her 30s, it gets even higher in her 40s and only starts to decrease in her 50s. I started adding weight in my 30s and thought that somehow the heightened 30s had missed me. Boy, was I wrong! Delay is not denial, apparently! If you asked me about myself before now,I would describe myself as someone with ample self control. Other feelings that females my age say they struggle with, I couldn’t relate. Celibacy and abstinence wasn’t a challenge, it was a walk in the park. Now, a year of celibacy is a legit struggle! By the 12th month, the verse of bringing my flesh into submission becomes my mantra! By the 15th month, looking at the lips of a man I find remotely attractive becomes a struggle because yours truly starts imagining the same lips in areas that don’t glorify God! By the time we are reaching the 2 year mark, even the fi...