More than friends.

I really do not know how I spent 2 years being hurt and sad and feeling sorry for myself because of a failed relationship. But, you pricked my interest, I had thought you were my miracle from heaven, I was so happy! I walked with a spring in my step. I thought you felt the same. I mean you smiled, opened doors for me, we went everywhere together. Remember that day in the club, where that girl was trying to get to know you, and you told her you don't know if that will go down well with your girlfriend here? You came and gave me the legendary back hug. That was a defining moment for me and since you said we are just friends, I found I practically lost that spring, that smile, that inner joy. I suddenly feel very lonely. I do not know how I survived 2 years. It's only been a month since you introduced your girlfriend to your "best female buddy" who is "practically one of the guys for you" and its like the sun set and refused to rise. It's been perpetual night for me. It's like the flood gates of my feelings opened and am feeling everything double fold. And so, when you don't show me attention, I feel doubly sad. When you ignore me, I feel doubly abandoned.  And when I see you smiling at her the way you used to smile at me, I feel doubly jealous. And in that moment, I realized, I couldn't do it anymore. I am drained and exhausted from being your friend when I want to be more. So, please, let's stop this. Let this friendship end. Heaven knows that I will regret this. When I wear that purple dress you got me for my birthday, I will regret not being with you. When I may have to cut my hair, I will remember we went together the last time I cut my hair, or just when I miss your voice ( I like your voice), I will regret this. But, still, I will do this. Let this friendship end. I am sorry, but am exhausted from smiling when I feel like crying and being the composer of messages you send to your girlfriend. Forgive me. Forgive me for overreaching. For assuming we were more than friends, forgive me.
    So long, buddy.

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