Holding on....

We have all received that lecture at a point in our lives. "Hold on, don't give up! Don't let go!" Sometimes, we receive this advice on relationship, a dream, a diet, or for some of us, a failing marriage. But, is it really worth it? Holding on. How do you hold on to dry sand? How do you hold on to oil? How do you hold on to water? How do you hold on to a mirage? You see it in front of you, you strive to get to it, and realise it's moved forward.
   At times, this advice has us holding on to someone that has long left. It has us holding on to an empty shell, the substance has left, and we are still holding on to the shaft. It could have us holding on to something we have left, we have no interest in, but because we want commendation, 'she held on for so long' 'he didn't give up' 'he held on, never let go' 'she is so dedicated', we hold on, when we want to be somewhere else.
    At other times, we may not have a backup plan, no soft landing to cushion the fall, so we hold on. We are so scared of being alone, for those in a relationship, that we stay. What we do not understand is that we are already alone.
    For those in marriages, it's more tricky. How do we leave? That's admitting to the world that we made a mistake, trusted the wrong one, thought them to be "The One". We think of the backlash we will receive especially the women, it's always our bad character. People will judge you before getting to know you, see you through tinted windows, coloured by your failed marriage. And so, we stay. We stay until the very life is sapped out of us, literally or figuratively.
      At other times, we give up on dreams too easily. If we held on to dreams and aspirations as much as we held on to relationships, it will make all the difference. If we work on our dreams as much as we work on making that relationship work with that f@#k boy, as much as we work on making that marriage work with that abuser, it will make all the difference.
   We should learn to let go of things that are toxic to us, hurt us, things that make us shrink ourselves and expend more energy into things that makes us blossom, makes us smile, into our dreams and aspirations. You deserve the best. Take it from me. I should know, am an expert at holding on to toxicity and giving up when the going gets tough. But am turning over a new leaf and so should you. You only live once, live it happy, live it unapologetically, live it unashamedly, live it like it's yours.
                
Sincerely,
KY.